Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It Smelled Like the Number on the Door

Well, I'm always giving you readers ideas of what movies to check out, but what about those awful films plaguing your local theaters?  This post is aimed at keeping you from accidentally seeing the wrong movie next weekend and is based solely on the Rotten Tomatoes freshness meter.  Now, put your clothespins on...
  • First on our list is the upcoming "Speed Racer" from acclaimed directors the Wachowski brothers ("Matrix Triology").  The film opens nation wide May 9, 2008 and the critics over at Rotten Tomatoes are advising you to steer clear of this one.  From what I can gather, the film is mostly glitz and glam that may give you a headache.  It's current reviews leave it at a measly 32% freshness.  Resist the urge to go toward the pretty lights and wait to rent this one if you're curious.
  • Next up is Al Pacino's "88 Minutes."  This gimmicky romp is yet another film about someone only having a certain amount of time to live, during which, they must find out how to evade their ever-approaching death. Yawn.  Rotten Tomatoes ranks this one currently at a 6% freshness.  Al Pacino has been in some good movies, but this one is not one of them.  Don't be fooled by it's superficially interesting plot, you'll be happier dropping that $7.50 on another movie.
  • Finally, we have "Deception" starring Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor.  This murder/mystery is currently sitting at a 12% freshness and for good reason.  Let's just say there's a sex ring involved, Hugh Jackman is a high powered businessman, Ewan McGregor is a naive 9-to-fiver, and the ending is allegedly ridiculous.  Just stay in and watch "Eyes Wide Shut," you might be more impressed.
Well, there was a quick look at what films you shouldn't be seeing this weekend.  In all fairness, this list was compiled after looking at the Rotten Tomatoes "freshness meter," but what the hell do critics know anyway?  If you see any of these movies in the near future or if you've already seen one, drop me a line in the comments and tell me what you think!

1 comment:

Jason Moses said...

For some reason, I'm inclined to ignore the critics in regards to Speed Racer. It just looks so dang colorful! Also, Matt Pais? Of metromix.com? I don't know what it feels like to have my face tie-dyed, but it sounds awesome!