Enter the Grind House

Warning:  The contents of today's blog post will shock and horrify you.  Continue at your own risk.

Grind House |'grnd'·'hous'| (n): an often shabby movie theater having continuous showings especially of pornographic or violent films.

And that boys and girls, is the topic of today's blog post.

For those of you who just can't get enough guts for your greenback, blood for your buck, or sex for your salary, there are a few low budget "grind house" pictures coming your way.

First off, we have "Hell Ride" from director and legendary biker-movie star Larry Bishop (Chrome and Hot Leather).  This over-the-top journey into the dangerous and violent world of motorcycle gangs is said to take a "contemporary look on the classic western, 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,'" Bishop said (Star Pulse).

The film stars Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen, and Dennis Hopper and was produced by none other than Quentin Tarantino.  If anyone is going to put together a film about themed bikers, I can think of no better line-up.

The story consists of three men:  Pistolero, the Gent, and Comanche, and their "unfinished businesses among them" (IMDB).  As you can tell just from the character names, this one's going to be cheesy from the get-go.

The early reviews of this film have not been so favorable; from what I can tell, people still hate B-movies.  But hey, if you're like me, you'll still probably shell out the $7 bucks, even if it is total trash.  That's the fun of it right?

And now for our second exploitation feature:  "Zombie Strippers."  You read that last line correctly: "Zombie Strippers."

The film stars Pornstar actress Jenna Jameson (don't worry, the link takes you to her IMDB page), Robert Eglund (the "Nightmare on Elmstreet" series), and UK chick-rocker Roxy Saint.  I know, I can hardly believe it myself.  This one might require you to shower twice after viewing it.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, the basic plot-line follows a secret government agency that lets out a deadly chemo virus causing the reanimation of the dead, and first place to get hit is (wait for it...) Rhino’s, a hot underground strip club.

From the trailer, it appears that the film is poorly shot and the writing is terrible, but this sounds like just what the doctor ordered.  Though, nothing says "good-bye oscar season" quite like watching a group of deadly zombie-strippers maim and eat their clientele on screen.  Am I right?

With "There Will Be Blood" making its way to DVD and Blu-Ray in the next couple of days, I confess that I feel a bit guilty waiting in anticipation for these two - dare I even call them - films.  But hey, everything is relative I suppose.

So, don't stop biting your fingernails until you get to your victim's shoulder and stay posted for more on "Hell Ride" and "Zombie Strippers" coming to theaters this year.

(Picture taken from www.moviemorlocks.com)